How To Build Healthy Boundaries In Relationships

All relationships have boundaries. Some boundaries are discussed, others are assumed, and some are only discovered when they’ve been crossed.

Boundaries are a way of assuring that your needs are met in a relationship. They are also a way of assuring that your values and expectations aren’t violated. Boundaries can preserve your privacy and independence. Boundaries can help you build healthier, better relationships. 

How to Identify Your Boundaries in Relationships

Everyone has boundaries, but few people have the same boundaries, and that’s why it’s so important to set the boundaries in your relationship. Having a clear understanding of each other’s boundaries in relationships is actually one of the most loving things you can do for each other and your relationship! 

Consider your boundaries in the following areas. There are no right or wrong answers, as long as both parties are in agreement.

Financial Boundaries 

Who is going to pay for what? How much will you spend on birthdays and Christmas? How much is too much? Should everything be split 50:50? Does the man pay for dates? Does the person with the larger salary carry the brunt of the load?

These are all important questions to cover to avoid misunderstanding and hurt in the future. 

Work Boundaries

Does work always take precedence? Should a career-minded partner be willing to skip working evenings to spend time with the other person?

For some people, work is an unnecessary evil that funds the rest of their life. For others, it is their life. Figuring out your commitment and ambitions in the workplace is an important part of adult relationships. 

Sexual Boundaries 

Some people like to keep it conservative, while others prefer to dress up like a Martian and swing from the chandelier. Everyone has a sexual limit, and it’s rare that two people have the same limits.

 A lot of drama can be avoided by understanding what your partner will and won’t do, what they want to and don’t want to do in the bedroom.

Past Relationships

Some people insist on dissecting their partner’s past. Others believe that the past is irrelevant and should stay in the past. What are you willing to reveal? What do you want to know?

Speak to each other honestly and openly about where you stand on past relationships.

Family Commitments

Do you want them to come to the family barbecue? Or do you want them to keep their distance? Is it okay for your boyfriend to call your mother or sister for advice about your relationship?

If you have children from a previous relationship, how do you want to include the children in your new relationship?