Love as my grandmother does

My dear grandmother

passed away almost 18 years ago

but I still miss her

every single day.

She was such an important part of my life.

My Mom, Dad, brothers and I

lived in her old house

for most of my childhood.

And when I close my eyes

and open my heart

that is how I remember her.

I can still see her

in her flower print, cotton dress

with a flour dusted apron tied over it.

 I can see

her smiling face

with her wispy hair all askew

and her big glasses sliding down her nose.

I can hear

her high pitched voice say,

"HELLO"

as I opened the door after school

while her arms opened

to give me a big hug and kiss.

I can even remember

how she smelled.

It was a curious combination

of cold cream, Ben Gay,

garlic, and tomato sauce.

And when she hugged me

I could feel the love and joy

coming from her heart into mine.

I thought I knew everything about my "Nana"

but amazingly

I am still learning more about her

even today.

Just yesterday

an old family friend

stopped to talk to me at the local post office.

She told me

of what happened once while she visited my Nana

when I was still a little boy.

They were sitting around the dining room table

and our friend noticed the lovely earrings

my Nana was wearing.

She told Nana

about how much she liked them

and asked

if possibly

she could leave them to her in her will.

Without a second thought

my sweet Nana took them off

and gave them to her on the spot.

After our friend left

I stood there

for a few minutes

in amazement.

I had never known this

and as far as I could tell

Nana never mentioned it to anyone.

That was just like her.

She may have been feisty and temperamental

at times

but

she loved deeply

and she gave freely.

I have decided then

that I want to love like Nana loved.

I want to give like Nana gave.

I want to live like Nana lived.

I want to care more about people

and less about things.

I want to let my heart

rather than my fear guide me.

I want to share my love

freely and joyfully.

I want to give

and to live

in such a way that sings and smiles.

May you do the same.